One of the criticisms I hear about self-restraint is this:  “You’ll go nuts cheering for your favorite team at the game but you can’t cheer for Jesus in church!”Years ago I was given two tickets to a Philadelphia Flyers game.  I invited a friend in ministry who was a Flyers fan.  It is often said that in the middle of a fistfight a hockey game might break out, and that was true in this particular ...  Read More

We live in an age that values expressing oneself without restraint.  We consider this genuineness and honesty.  Inability (or failure) to express oneself, is indicative, we say, of emotional troubles and inhibitions, or ‘hang-ups’ (to use a term from the Sixties).But these are recent developments.  For most of history, self-control – weighed words and restrained emotions/desires – was the cornerst...  Read More

I turn now to a controversial topic that divides Christians and that can become quickly explosive.  The topic is large enough that it will take numerous blogs and multifaceted enough that I can only address one side (or one point) at a time.  Depending on which side of the issue you find yourself, you’re going to be angry with me one week and happy the next.  I request your patience and ask that y...  Read More

Being unfamiliar creates discomfort.  Knowing what to expect in a new setting (and therefore what is expected of us) helps us to feel more comfortable.So when you are greeting someone who is new to our church, what are some things that you can do to help them feel “familiar”?The first thing I like to know whenever I enter a new setting is where the bathrooms are.  But it can be slightly awkward go...  Read More

It is my experience that many people deemed snobs are just fearful about their ability to converse with people.  They are unsure of what to say or afraid that they will say the wrong thing.In this blog I will teach you how to hold a successful conversation about a topic about which you know absolutely nothing.  The topic about which you know absolutely nothing is the life of the person with whom y...  Read More

Some people worry about cliques – people being snobby, stand-offish, clannish, closed to new people.  What we don’t realize is that many times we are read that way because we don’t reach out.  I have discovered that many people don’t reach out, not because they are snobs, but because they are afraid.One of the things I’ve heard people say most often is “I’m not a conversationalist; I don’t know wh...  Read More

We are not made to be alone.  In the biblical account society begins with marriage, a man and a woman who create a family.  We are made to be born into and nurtured by a family.  Families become clans; clans become tribes; and eventually we get beyond bloodlines and connect by common interest or shared purpose.  We make life better for all of us by working together, whether by cooperation or frien...  Read More

When a visitor isn’t made to feel welcome at a church, the visitor’s assumption is often that the people are cliquish snobs.  Sometimes that may be true, but I’ve discovered that more often the real problem is FEAR – people are afraid to reach out to new people.  Here are some reasons I’ve heard that people don’t reach out.“It’s not my job.” Some people feel it’s ONLY the job of the pastors (or g...  Read More

A woman once posted a criticism of our church on social media.  No one, she huffed, had reached out even to say ‘hello’ when she visited a service.  She publicly recommended avoiding Mountain View Chapel.I contacted her, apologized for her bad experience, and asked how she managed to get through our army of greeters.  It turned out she had come in late, sat in the back row, and slipped out during ...  Read More

There are two parts of ministry to people: (1) winning them to faith in Christ and (2) building a connected ‘society’ (the church) in which the faith and love for others is lived out.  This second objective requires meaningful interaction and connection between people, and on a practical level there is no way you can meaningfully interact and connect with all the 300+ or so people in our church. M...  Read More

We’re now caught in that strange black hole where time stands still – the week between Christmas and New Year.  That week always directs my thoughts to turning the page, looking ahead, preparing for the next challenge.One of the observations I’ve made on human nature over the years is that people choose either to experience one of two discomforts:  debt or making do with less.  We are most likely ...  Read More

We evangelicals make the Christmas story warm, cozy, and inviting.  Everything that Christ’s birth and infancy was not.Mary’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy could not but shame the family in the community.  Her story of the angel’s visit didn’t make the situation better.  She was probably sent away to Zacharias and Elizabeth to hide the shame.Joseph, whom Mary was to marry, was also shamed by Mary’s swe...  Read More